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CIO Tips
can really help a new CIO. In fact, they can make the dif
Following is a transcript
of a conversation between a new CIO and a sage tech support guy. Thanks for reading. Craig Herberg
Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support. How may we humiliate you?
Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Can you offer some advice to a new C I O?
Unhelpful tech support guy: Sure. I’m an expert.
Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Great. What have you got?
Unhelpful tech support guy: Start off by promising things you can’t possibly deliver.
Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Are you sure that’s a good idea?
Unhelpful tech support guy: Look. I’m technical support. I don’t have time for stupid questions.
Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I’m sorry. Please continue.
Unhelpful tech support guy: When things go wrong, blame your predecessor.
Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Ok.
Unhelpful tech support guy: After that excuse stops working, reorganize in a way that makes no sense to anyone.
Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Huh?
Unhelpful tech support guy: The chaos should buy you another six months.
Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I see. What do I do next?
Unhelpful tech support guy: Prepare 3 envelopes. That’s all you need to know.
Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I can do that. Thank you so much.
Unhelpful tech support guy: That’s what I do. In a year, I’ll give the same advice to the next soon-to-be ex-CIO.