We have new management. Do you think you have tech woes now? Check out the awesome improvements made Under New Management!
It had to happen. Tech Woes’ old management paid far too much attention to taking care of our customers, and we could not have that! So, new management studied at the School of Dilbert. As Wally likes to suggest, worthlessness has its rewards. No self-respecting loyal student would think about providing service to anyone, least of all, customers. It is really refreshing to see management openly fighting for worthlessness. Over the years, there have been many failed management patterns of thinking/ideas. One of them that immediately comes to mind is total quality management. This insane approach to management held that organizations should provide customers with products and services that make them happy, by meeting a need or reaching a goal. What a crock!
The real purpose of organizations is to provide fodder to people like Scott Adams. Similarly, would you watch a sitcom about a functional family? Of course not! Quite the opposite, dysfunctional families rule the day! Think of the Simpsons. Now that is an arguing/angry family, and great entertainment.
Following is a transcript
that perfectly captures the new management philosophy here at Tech Woes.
You have reached technical support. Please listen carefully, as we have added a telephone tree to insulate us from our customers.
1. If you have baked goods for the technical support manager, press 1 now.
2. If you have other gifts for the technical support manager, press 2 now.
3. If you would like to tell us how much we have improved under new management, press 3 now and leave a message.
4. If you need assistance with a technical problem, hang up now.
5. To repeat this menu, hang up and call back next week.
6. If you are still on the line, wait until you hear the dial tone.