iPhone 7 Headphone Jack

Can you find your iPhone 7 headphone jack? Watch our tech woes IT gods uncover the iPhone 7 headphone jack.

No iPhone 7 Headphone Jack?

You just paid $749 for a new phone with no headphone jack. iPhone 7 headphone jackIf you are not happy, you are not alone. Of course, you could use an adapter with your sleek new phone. Apple would prefer that you pay them another $150 or $200 for a wireless set. Wireless buds do look a little sleeker, but they are much more likely to get lost. So, you just may think that Apple played you.

Following is a transcript

of a customer with new iPhone 7 and a mischievous tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Maybe a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my subtle attempt at geek humor, and welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support. How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I just got iPhone 7, and it is missing a headphone jack.

Unhelpful tech support guy: It is not missing — just hiding. I can show you how to unhide it.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I’m listening.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Turn over your phone, and look in the upper left corner. Do you see two holes?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Yes, I do.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Good. The one on the left is your headphone jack.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: But my headphone plug won’t fit in it.

Unhelpful tech support guy: You need to drill it out with a three sixteenths inch drill bit.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much. You make it so easy.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Thank you for the kind words and for calling technical support, where a stupid answer is only a phone call away.

IRS Calling

Is the IRS calling you demanding cash? Learn how our tech gurus deal with the IRS calling scam.

The IRS calling

out of the blue is about as likely as snow in Miami on the fourth of July. IRS Calling ScamWhen they say they are going to sue you, you should get a clue. If you are still on the line after they demand cash, you are getting ready to pay someone in a faraway land. Of course, the scam relies on the gullible.

Following is a transcript of an unsuspecting foil and an “entrepreneurial” tech support person. The caller has fallen for the IRS calling scam. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Maybe a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my subtle attempt at geek humor, and welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support. How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I just got a call from the IRS. They said they are suing me.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Did they demand cash payment?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Yes, they did. How did you know?

Unhelpful tech support guy: They have been cash only for years. Just bring me the money, and I will take care of it for you.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much. You make it so easy.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Thank you for the kind words and for calling technical support, where a stupid answer is only a phone call away. Woo woo! That’s our third victim today.

Spying Smart TV

Do you have a Spying Smart TV? Learn from the Tech Woes smart TV gods how to cure Spying Smart TV woes.

Spying Smart TV

That what they get when they buy internet connected smart TVs that spy on their viewing habits. This information is sent back to Spying Smart TV tech woessome company’s servers, used for marketing purposes and possibly resold to others. This practice is both a major privacy concern and likely security problem, as well. Some smart TVs have spying enabled by default. It may be possible to disable, but that probably depends on your specific model. Please do your research!

What follows is a transcript of a smart TV owner concerned about his privacy and a woefully unhelpful tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty, and any resemblance to a real life situation is coincidental. Or is it? Maybe a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my subtle attempt at geek humor, and welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support. How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I just bought a smart TV, and I think it’s spying on me.

Unhelpful tech support guy: So, how do you like Game of Thrones?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: How do you know I’m watching Game of Thrones?

Unhelpful tech support guy: You just told me you were. Don’t worry, your smart TV just spies on other people, not on you.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much. You make it so easy.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Thank you for the kind words and for calling technical support, where a stupid answer is only a phone call away. Whew, that was a close call!

Windows 10 Upgrade

Are you concerned about doing a Windows 10 upgrade the day it comes out? Get expert tips from our tech woes Windows 10 upgrade security pros.

Should I do a Windows 10 upgrade

when it comes out is a question thatWindows 10 upgrade tech woes a lot of people are asking. If you have the technical know-how and are not risk adverse, the answer is a definite maybe (otherwise, probably not). If you also have nothing to lose, the maybe becomes probably. Conversely, if you use your computer for your business, you need to make sure it will work with your business software. Lastly, are you unhappy with what you have?

What follows is a transcript of a caller who manages the launch codes and a terribly unhelpful tech support person. The caller is concerned about Windows 10 security. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty, and any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Maybe a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my subtle attempt at geek humor, and welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others, but don’t follow the advice of unhelpful tech support guy below! Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support. How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I manage the launch codes, and am concerned about doing a Windows 10 upgrade the day it comes out.

Unhelpful tech support guy: You don’t need to worry. Windows 10 was designed for managing launch codes.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Are you sure?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Of course I am. All of our enemies tested it and they assured us they can’t crack it.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much. You make it so easy.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Thank you for the kind words and for calling technical support, where a stupid answer is only a phone call away.

 

New Computer Setup

Is your new computer setup giving you trouble transferring photos from old to new? Get tips from the tech woes computer setup pros on new computer setup.

New computer setup

It can be a daunting task for the technically unsophisticated. Almost everybody has a lot of files scattered around the old computer. To many people, photos are the most important thing on their computer. Transferring tens– sometimes hundreds — of gigabytes from the old computer to new computer can take a painfully long time, and people become terribly frustrated.

What follows is a transcript of a caller with a new computer and an New computer setup tech woesunhelpful tech support person. The caller is concerned that the photo transfer is taking too long. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty, and any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Maybe a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my subtle attempt at geek humor, and welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by. Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I just bought a new computer and it’s taking too long to transfer my pictures from the old computer.

Unhelpful tech support guy: You don’t need to transfer them. That’s a waste of time.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: What do I do then?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Just print them from your old computer and scan them into your new computer.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much.  You make it so easy.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Thank you for the kind words and for calling technical support, where a stupid answer is only a phone call away.

Apple Watch GPS Blues

Do you have the Apple Watch GPS blues, because you are disappointed that your expensive Apple Watch doesn’t have a GPS? Learn how the tech woes pros cure the Apple Watch GPS blues.

Apple Watch GPS Blues

When the Apple watch first came out, Apple  may have oversold its utility as a fitness watch. Runners who want to track their runs without their phones are out of luck. Ditto for people who want to track flights of stairs climbed. Much less expensive fitness watches provide these features. This lack of basic fitness features caused some to contract the Apple Watch GPS Apple watch GPS blues tech woesblues.

What follows is a transcript of an Apple watch owner concerned about his lack of GPS and a woefully unhelpful tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the not so innocent. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Maybe a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my subtle attempt at geek humor, and welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I just paid 800 dollars for an apple watch, and I want to use a GPS to track my run.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Your apple watch is too advanced to have a GPS.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Huh?

Unhelpful tech support guy: It was designed to use the GPS in your car.  Have someone drive beside you to track your run.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much.  You make it so easy.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Thank you for the kind words and for calling technical support, where a stupid answer is only a phone call away.

Smart TV App Woes

Do Cloud Smart TV App Woes give you problems on your new smart TV? Let our Tech Woes IT gods teach you to how to deal with Smart TV app woes.

Smart TV App Woes

afflict a lot of Smart TV owners. People buy their Smart TVs for the internet connected apps, and are usually pleased to have apps like Netflix,Smart TV App Woes HBO Go, Hulu Plus, Amazon Instant, MLB.tv, etc. Unfortunately, the picnic usually ends when a buggy cloud based update on a remote server wreaks havoc. Suddenly, the Smart TVs cannot connect to the internet, and the apps stop working. Until the vendor fixes the buggy software, their Smart TVs become expensive dumb TVs.

Following is a transcript of an unhappy Smart TV owner and a totally full of poop tech support person. The caller has Smart TV app woes after an update made the apps stop working. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty, and any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Maybe a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my subtle attempt at geek humor, and welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support. How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: The apps on my smart TV stopped working after an update.

Unhelpful tech support guy: We moved your apps to the cloud to improve your experience. Unfortunately, the cloud doesn’t work when the sun shines.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Huh?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Our research tells us that most people only use their apps after dark. If you want them to work twenty four seven, you must move to Seattle or London.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much. You make it so easy.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Thank you for the kind words and for calling technical support, where a stupid answer is only a phone call away.

Fitness Tracker Problems

Are fitness tracker problems giving you disappointing results?  Find out how the real tech woes pros fix Fitness Tracker problems.

Fitness Tracker Problems

begin when people buy trackers and don’t do anything with them. Fitness trackers behave a lot like treadmills, in that you have to use them to benefit, although unused treadmills can also serve as a place to hang clothes! So, if you buy a fitness tracker, please use it. I know lots of people that successfully use them as motivational tools.Fitness tracker problems tech woes

What follows is a transcript of a telephone conversation between an unmotivated and out of shape fitness tracker owner and an unhelpful tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to a real life situation is coincidental. Or is it? Maybe a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my subtle attempt at geek humor, and welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I have been using my Fitness Tracker for two months and I am still overweight and out of shape.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Oh my.  What model are you using?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: The Super Plus.

Unhelpful tech support guy: That model is for people who want to be heavy and out of shape.  You should upgrade to the Super Dooper Plus.  That is the model for people who want to be thin and fit.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much.  You make it so easy.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Thank you for the kind words and for calling technical support, where a stupid answer is only a phone call away.

Siri Gets Cranky

Does Siri get cranky when you ask your new iPhone 4S a question? Learn from the tech woes pros how to deal with your phone when Siri gets cranky.

Siri gets cranky

when you ask her certain questions. Many internet sources report unexpected, sometimes rude, and frequently funny responses to questions. According to cheatsheet.com, Siri’s answer to “Siri gets cranky tech woesWhat are you wearing,” include: “In the cloud, no one knows what you’re wearing,” and “I can’t answer that. But it doesn’t come off.” Don’t even think about asking her what she thinks about Google Now!

What follows is a transcript of a telephone conversation between an iPhone owner with concerns that Siri gets cranky and an unhelpful tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty, and any resemblance to a real life situation is coincidental. Or is it? Maybe a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my subtle attempt at geek humor, and welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support. How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: My brand new iPhone 4S just made a rude hand gesture to me.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Oh my. What did you do to deserve that?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I asked its opinion on the best Android phone.

Unhelpful tech support guy: That explains it. Don’t ever mention Android or Windows in its company, and you should be fine.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much. You make it so easy.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Thank you for the kind words and for calling technical support, where a stupid answer is only a phone call away.

Android Phone Problem

Do you suffer from an Android phone problem? Find out how the tech woes IT gods fix your Android phone problem.

Android Phone Problem?

A certain version of the iPhone lost signal strength and dropped calls Android phone problem tech woeswhen users held the phone by the bottom. Apple designed that model to use the stainless frame as an antenna. This problem was widely reported, and was derisively referred to as the death grip. In response to complaints from customers, Steve Jobs famously said, “Just avoid holding it that way.” I suppose for some, having a phone with the death grip was a badge of honor.

What follows is a transcript

of a telephone conversation between a person with an Android phone not afflicted by the death grip (who considered this lack of defect an Android phone problem!) and an unhelpful tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty, and any resemblance to a real life situation is coincidental. Or is it? Maybe a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my subtle attempt at geek humor, and welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I got my new Android phone and I have a problem.  Can you help?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Sure.  What seems to be the problem?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I can’t figure out how to do the death grip like my cool friends with iPhones.

Unhelpful tech support guy:  You have a defective phone.  Take it back to the store and have them replace it.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much.  You make it so easy.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Thank you for the kind words and for calling technical support, where a stupid answer is only a phone call away.