September 2016 - Page 6 of 6 - Tech Woes, your online resource for computer technical support

Streaming Video

Do you have a need for streaming video? Listen and learn how the Tech Woes video streaming engineers setup streaming video.

Streaming Video

is a fairly large undertaking. For example, you need a lot of bandwidth. Likely, you will need 5MBPS to stream fairly high quality video to one person! So, if you are streaming video to 100 people, that comes to 500MBPS. Probably, you will have someone else host for you. Even so, you need to be certain they have ample bandwidth for your needs. Also, you will need a lot of storage. For example, you can figure about 12GB per hour of HD video. Furthermore, live streaming is even more complicated. As you can see, there are some issues for you to consider.

Following is a transcript

of a person who wants to stream video and a total doofus of an unhelpful tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor. I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below. If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by. Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support. How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I need to stream video to my customers around town. Can you help?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Sure, it’s easy.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: What’s this about high speed video servers and O C 3 data lines?

Unhelpful tech support guy: You don’t need them.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Really?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Nope. Just go to the party store and buy streamers and attach them to your video DVD. That, my friend, is how you stream video.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much. I should have called you in the first place.

Unhelpful tech support guy: That’s what we’re here for. [Aside] I’m on a roll today.

Mobile GPS

Do you need help installing your brand new mobile GPS? Listen and learn how the Tech Woes IT pros expertly install a mobile GPS.

Mobile GPS

is a necessity for people who drive to many different places. Because earlier models had a separate GPS antenna, they were harder to install. So, they had two wires to connect. However, newer models just use one wire, to supply power. Although very handy people can install either kind, some people prefer to have professional installation.

Following is a transcript

of a person attempting to install a mobile GPS and an over the top and unhelpful tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor. I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below. If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by. Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support. How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I need help setting up my mobile GPS in my car. Can you help?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Sure. What seems to be the problem?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: There are two long wires with thingies on the end, and I don’t know where they go.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Cut the wires. You don’t need them.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Huh?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Instead of connecting it with wires, you will connect it with blue tooth.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: How do I do that?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Just go to the dentist and have him give you a blue tooth. Then your GPS will just work.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: That’s it?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Yep. That’s all there is too it.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much. You make it so easy.

Unhelpful tech support guy: It’s always a pleasure. [Aside] Two years on the job and I haven’t helped a single person. I’m about due for a promotion.

New Management

We have new management. Do you think you have tech woes now? Check out the awesome improvements made Under New Management!

New Management

It had to happen. Tech Woes’ old management paid far too much attention to taking care of our customers, and we could not have that! So, new management studied at the School of Dilbert. As Wally likes to suggest, worthlessness has its rewards. No self-respecting loyal student would think about providing service to anyone, least of all, customers. It is really refreshing to see management openly fighting for worthlessness. Over the years, there have been many failed management patterns of thinking/ideas. One of them that immediately comes to mind is total quality management. This insane approach to management held that organizations should provide customers with products and services that make them happy, by meeting a need or reaching a goal. What a crock!

The real purpose of organizations is to provide fodder to people like Scott Adams. Similarly, would you watch a sitcom about a functional family? Of course not! Quite the opposite, dysfunctional families rule the day! Think of the Simpsons. Now that is an arguing/angry family, and great entertainment.

Following is a transcript

that perfectly captures the new management philosophy here at Tech Woes.

You have reached technical support. Please listen carefully, as we have added a telephone tree to insulate us from our customers.

1. If you have baked goods for the technical support manager, press 1 now.

2. If you have other gifts for the technical support manager, press 2 now.

3. If you would like to tell us how much we have improved under new management, press 3 now and leave a message.

4. If you need assistance with a technical problem, hang up now.

5. To repeat this menu, hang up and call back next week.

6. If you are still on the line, wait until you hear the dial tone.