Phishing Email


Do you suspect that you have a phishing email
? Listen to the Tech woes privacy pros determine phish from legit, and defeat phishing email.

A phishing email

is one that is sent to steal personal information.   Maybe they want to steal your bank account information, so they can empty your account. Possibly, they want to take out a large loan in your name. To be sure, you do not want to give out your username/password or other personal information to someone over the phone or via email. So, if you get an email that looks like it comes from the bank, call the number you have for the bank – not the one in the email. Conversely, you could login to your account online – but do not click the email link!

Following is a transcript

of a person with a phishing email message and a boneheaded and unhelpful tech support person. Of cPhishing emailourse, tech support guy just wants to get rid of the customer and go home. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I just received an email that says there is a problem with my Bank of America account.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Do you have an account with Bank of America?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: No, I don’t.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Then, that is the problem.  Go ahead and click on the link in the email, and enter all of your personal information, including social security number, date of birth, and mother’s maiden name.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Are you sure that’s ok?  What if this is a scam to steal my personal information?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Of course it’s OK.  Scammers don’t use computers.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much.  I am just feeling a little paranoid about identity theft.

Unhelpful tech support guy: I understand.  We’re always here to help. [Aside] That’s the tenth call about that today.  Stupid people!

 

DSL Installation Hell

Do you dread the thought of DSL installation hell? Listen and learn how the Tech Woes telecommunication pros solve the scourge of DSL installation hell.

DSL Installation Hell

is something that should be extremely rare. After all,DSL installation hell once the provider activates the line, all you have to do is connect the DSL modem to the phone line and install DSL filters. To clarify, the filters connect between anything else (i.e., not the DSL modem) that connects to the phone line and the line itself. So, if you have two landline phones and a fax machine, you need three filters.  Of course, you do need to connect your computer[s] to the DSL modem, either via Ethernet or wireless. How hard can that be? When the provider does its job, the rest is straightforward. Yet, that is the rub.

Following is a transcript

of a person in DSL installation hell and an amazingly unhelpful tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the DSL provider. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: My DSL installation kit came today without the DSL modem or filters.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Did you order it on the internet?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Yes, I did.

Unhelpful tech support guy: That explains it.  You must have made a mistake on your order.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Look up the order.

Unhelpful tech support guy: It’s right here.  You checked the box that says don’t ship the items I need to make it work, because I enjoy aggravation.  A lot of people check that box.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: There is no such box, you moron.  Will you kindly ship the items you should have sent in the first place?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Sure will.  You can expect an incorrect shipment in 5 to 7 working days.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you for your help.

Unhelpful tech support guy: You’re welcome.  [Aside] Thank you for not hearing what I just said.

Spyware Pop Up

Do you have a spyware pop up on a web page? Listen and learn how the Tech Woes super IT pros eradicate the spyware pop up.

A spyware pop upSpyware pop up

on  a web page is usually just an animation on that web page. For example, you go to a particular web page and see something that looks like it is finding viruses on your computer. Next, it presents a link to “clean your computer.” Do not click the link! Instead, close your browser. Next, restart your computer. Hopefully, you just dodged a bullet.

Following is a transcript

of a person with a spyware pop up  and a doofus tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I’m on a web page that popped up a message that says I have spyware on my computer.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Does it say anything else?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Yes, it says click here to fix the problem.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Go ahead and click.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Are you sure that’s ok?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Look.  I’m technical support.  Are you questioning me?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Of course not.  It’s just that someone else in the office did that and now his computer is covered with ads for porn sites.

Unhelpful tech support guy: And that’s supposed to be a problem? [Aside] These people surf porn all day long, and then complain about it.  Golly gee!

Stop Spam

Wouldn’t you love to be able to stop spam? Listen and learn how the Tech Woes IT superheroes deliver a death blow and finally stop spam.

 Stop spam

please! Well over fifty percent of thStop spame email I see every day is spam. Frequently, I spend at least an hour a day deleting this junk email. To be sure, spam detection methods have improved greatly in the last few years. Likewise, the spammers have greatly improved their evasion tactics, to bypass spam filters. In the meantime, spammers still make money. Until we succeed in making spamming economically unfeasible, spam will find its way to our inboxes. Do not encourage them. Don’t click their links or buy their products.

 Following is a transcript

of a person concerned about spam and a devious tech support person. In this case, tech support guy is the one sending them spam. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I keep getting spam for miracle vitamins.  Can you help me?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Sure.  Click on the link in the e-mail, and buy the vitamins.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: But I don’t want the vitamins.

Unhelpful tech support guy: I understand. The only way to make these spammers go away is to buy something from them.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you for your help.

Unhelpful tech support guy: It’s always a pleasure helping people. [Aside] We’ve got another live one on the line.  Ring up another sale.

Bouncing Email

Do you suffer from the scourge of bouncing email? Listen and learn how the Tech Woes email engineers deal with and defeat the problem of bouncing email.

Bouncing email

can be a major nuisance and embarrassment. You think you successfully sent an email to a good friend or client, but it never gets there. Possibly because someone that uses your email provider sent spam, your email address gets put on a blacklist. Sometimes, your email provider can remove your email address from the blacklist. Or you might want to contact the blacklist holder yourself. Bouncing email is never any fun.

Following is a transcBouncing emailript

of a person with bouncing email and a totally goofy and unhelpful tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Email to my most important client bounces.  Do you know anything about this?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Of course.  This is a common problem.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: What causes it?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Your email is a little too springy, and that’s why it bounces.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: What can I do to fix it?

Unhelpful tech support guy: First, print out your email.  Then wash it and dry it on high heat.  This should remove the springiness.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: And that will solve the problem?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Of course.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much.  I’ve been at wits end over this problem.

Unhelpful tech support guy: It’s always a pleasure helping people solve their problems. [Aside] I can’t believe I get paid to do this to people.

BSOD Blues

Do you have the BSOD blues from your computer displaying the blue screen of death? Listen and learn as the Tech woes IT pros engineer a cure for the BSOD blues.

BSOD

is short for thBSOD bluese blue screen of death. In brief, it is the error screen you see after a Windows system crash. First of all, try restarting your computer, to see if the problem continues. Also, you can boot into safe mode and check the Windows logs, or research the BSOD error code. If it shows a boot disk error, you can schedule a check disk on next start. On the other hand, if you have a memory error, you could try removing and reseating your RAM. Or possibly, removing all peripherals will solve the problem. In fact, in many cases a system restore will fix the problem. Finally, make sure you know what you are doing. You do not want to lose your documents and photos!

Following is a transcript

of a person with a BSOD and an unhelpful helpful tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: My computer keeps getting the blue screen of death.  Can you help me?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Yes.  You are running the Gizmo nine thousand.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Huh?

Unhelpful tech support guy: That’s the computer model you have.  The Gizmo nine thousand is plagued by the blue screen of death.  We need to upgrade you to the Gizmo nine thousand one.  It completely eliminates the blue screen of death.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Really?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Absolutely.  It is totally new from top to bottom.  The blue screen of death has been replaced by the magenta screen of death.  It is really great.  We will upgrade you right away.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much.  You don’t know how much this will help me.

Unhelpful tech support guy: As always, you’re welcome. [Aside] And, yes I do know how much it will help you.

Malfunctioning Keyboard

Do you suffer from having a malfunctioning keyboard? Listen and learn as our Tech Woes IT pros once and for all fix the scourge of the malfunctioning keyboard.

A malfunctioning keyboard

is a real source of aggravation and a productivity killer. On a wireless keyboard, frequently, changing the batteries solves the problem. Sometimes, pushing the conMalfunctioning keyboardnect button will do the trick. For a USB keyboard, just unplug it and plug it back into the USB port. Possibly, you could plug it into another USB port.  Additionally, you could remove it from device manager, and restart the computer. Finally, if all else fails, you could just replace it.

Following is a transcript

of a person with a malfunctioning keyboard and a  goofy and unhelpful tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: My computer keyboard is malfunctioning.

Unhelpful tech support guy: What seems to be the problem?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: No matter what I type into my Word document, all gibberish appears on the screen.

Unhelpful tech support guy: That’s a common problem here at the office.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: It is?  What causes it?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Dude, there’s a short between the chair and the keyboard. [Aside] You don’t know how long I’ve waited to say that.

Pocket PC Upgrade

Do you long for the latest Pocket PC upgrade? Listen and learn from the Tech Woes IT pros how to get the Super Pocket PC Upgrade.

Pocket PC upgradePocket PC upgrade

seems to be all anybody is talking about these days. When the new model came out, the lines at the store were incredible. While people with the original version suffered with synchronization problems, those with the new version sang its praises. So far, the latest version synchronizes perfectly. In conclusion, I have got to have the latest Pocket PC upgrade.

Following is a transcript

of a person with an old generation Pocket PC and a creatively unhelpful tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

 Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I just bought a Pocket PC and I can’t get it to synchronize.

Unhelpful tech support guy: What model is it?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: It’s the latest model, BJ eleven B .

Unhelpful tech support guy: There is an upgrade available for that model. I will send you some Post It notes to upgrade it.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Post It notes?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Yes, you write your appointments on the Post It notes and put them on your display.  They never get out of sync. You will be fully upgraded to the Post It Pilot.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much.  I was really upset about spending seven hundred dollars for a useless piece of junk.

Unhelpful tech support guy: I understand. [Aside] Now you know how my boss feels.

Phishing Call

Did you just receive a suspicious telephone phishing call? Listen and learn how the Tech Woes privacy expert deals with and defeats a telephone phishing call.

A telephone phishing call

is one intended to steal your money and/or identity. Phishing callFor example, someone calls with a free offer. All you have to do is pay shipping and handling. Of course, what they really want is your credit card. Perhaps, “You’ve won a vacation.” Unfortunately, what you have really won is an opportunity to pay far more in hidden costs than the vacation is worth. So, if something sounds too good to be true, it probably isn’t. Here is a great resource of information on phone scams. https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0076-phone-scams.

Following is a transcript

of a person concerned about a possible phishing call and a shamefully unhelpful tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I just received a phone call from someone saying there is a problem with my bank account.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Did they say the name of the bank?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: No, they didn’t.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Go ahead and give then the name of your bank, account number, pin, social security number, date of birth, mother’s maiden name, as well as your car keys and house key.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Are you sure that’s ok?  What if this is a scam?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Of course it’s ok.  Scammers always use computers.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much.  I guess I’m just being overly cautious.

Unhelpful tech support guy: A lot of people are stupid that way. [Aside] Sheeeesh.  Get a life.

Server Setup

Do you need to have your Microsoft Windows server setup? Listen and learn how the Tech Woes super IT pros properly do a server setup.

Server SetupWindows server setup

is considerably more involved than PC setup. For example, you need to set up accounts for all who will use it. In addition, you may need to set up group policies. Of course, you will need to map drives. Possibly, you will need to setup shared printers. Next, if you want to host Exchange email, you will need to install Microsoft Exchange. To that end, you will be wading eyeball deep into DNS and mailbox configuration. In short, server setup is not an undertaking for the faint of heart.

Following is a transcript

of a person with a new server and a totally goofy and unhelpful tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I just purchased a new server and need help setting it up.

Unhelpful tech support guy: I would be glad to help.  Where is the server now?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: It’s still in the box.

Unhelpful tech support guy: First, take it out of the box.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Ok.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Next, lay the server on its side.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Ok.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Now, put it upright.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Ok.

Unhelpful tech support guy: That’s it.  You just set your server up.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: You make it seem so easy.  Thank you so much for your help.

Unhelpful tech support guy: It’s always a pleasure helping nice folks like you. [Aside]  Oh my.  This is easy.