CIO Tips

Do you have management aspirations and need CIO tips? Check out this sage advice from our Tech Woes management gurus, and get the latest CIO tips.

CIO Tips

can really help a new CIO. In fact, they can make the difCIO tipsference between lasting seventeen weeks and seventeen months. By all means, check out the article in CIO from IDG. As a matter of fact, many people say that CIO means, “career is over.” Of course, many of you have heard the joke about the incoming CIO taking three envelopes, with the following instructions. At the first sign of trouble, open the first envelope, which says “Blame your predecessor.” When that stops working, open the second envelope, which says, “reorganize.” Finally, when the reorg fails, open the third envelope, which says, “Prepare three envelopes.”

Following is a transcript

of a conversation between a new CIO and a sage tech support guy. Thanks for reading. Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support. How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Can you offer some advice to a new C I O?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Sure. I’m an expert.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Great. What have you got?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Start off by promising things you can’t possibly deliver.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Are you sure that’s a good idea?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Look. I’m technical support. I don’t have time for stupid questions.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I’m sorry. Please continue.

Unhelpful tech support guy: When things go wrong, blame your predecessor.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Ok.

Unhelpful tech support guy: After that excuse stops working, reorganize in a way that makes no sense to anyone.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Huh?

Unhelpful tech support guy: The chaos should buy you another six months.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I see. What do I do next?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Prepare 3 envelopes. That’s all you need to know.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I can do that. Thank you so much.

Unhelpful tech support guy: That’s what I do. In a year, I’ll give the same advice to the next soon-to-be ex-CIO.


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