Wireless Network Woes

Have you ever suffered with wireless network woes? Listen and learn how our Tech woes network gurus fix wireless network woes.

Wireless Network Woes

When you are in a hurry to get something done, Wireless network woesyou can’t connect your wireless device. First of all, don’t panic. Next, turn off your router and modem. Wait one minute, then turn on your modem. After another two minutes, turn on your router. Frequently, within a few minutes, you will be able to connect. Lastly, if necessary, restart your wireless device/computer. Hopefully, you will not have to call your cable company. That is never fun.

Following is a transcript

of a person with wireless network woes and an unhelpful tech support person who just wants to get off the phone. Usually, the person at the other end of the line wants you to reset the router, whenever you have connection issues. Then, after that does not fix the problem, they mention that there is a regional outage! When that happens, you are probably on your own to reconfigure your router. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support. How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: My wireless network won’t connect to the internet.

Unhelpful tech support guy: I see. Well, that’s easy to fix.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Oh good. What do I need to do.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Look for the reset button on the router. Do you see it?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Yes, I do.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Ok, now hold it in for thirty seconds.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Will that fix the problem?

Unhelpful tech support guy: No, but it will give me enough time to get off the phone.

CIO Tips

Do you have management aspirations and need CIO tips? Check out this sage advice from our Tech Woes management gurus, and get the latest CIO tips.

CIO Tips

can really help a new CIO. In fact, they can make the difCIO tipsference between lasting seventeen weeks and seventeen months. By all means, check out the article in CIO from IDG. As a matter of fact, many people say that CIO means, “career is over.” Of course, many of you have heard the joke about the incoming CIO taking three envelopes, with the following instructions. At the first sign of trouble, open the first envelope, which says “Blame your predecessor.” When that stops working, open the second envelope, which says, “reorganize.” Finally, when the reorg fails, open the third envelope, which says, “Prepare three envelopes.”

Following is a transcript

of a conversation between a new CIO and a sage tech support guy. Thanks for reading. Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support. How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Can you offer some advice to a new C I O?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Sure. I’m an expert.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Great. What have you got?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Start off by promising things you can’t possibly deliver.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Are you sure that’s a good idea?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Look. I’m technical support. I don’t have time for stupid questions.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I’m sorry. Please continue.

Unhelpful tech support guy: When things go wrong, blame your predecessor.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Ok.

Unhelpful tech support guy: After that excuse stops working, reorganize in a way that makes no sense to anyone.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Huh?

Unhelpful tech support guy: The chaos should buy you another six months.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I see. What do I do next?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Prepare 3 envelopes. That’s all you need to know.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I can do that. Thank you so much.

Unhelpful tech support guy: That’s what I do. In a year, I’ll give the same advice to the next soon-to-be ex-CIO.

 

Missing Word Icon

Do you have a missing Word icon that keeps you from opening your document? Listen and learn as the Tech Woes IT pros solve the mystery of the missing Word icon.

A Missing Word Icon

really won’t keep you from opening a document.Missing Word icon Nevertheless, many people prefer to have an icon on their computer desktop or taskbar. Indeed, it is fairly simple to put an icon on the desktop or taskbar. Once you find the program, right-click and specify Pin to Taskbar or Send to Desktop (create shortcut). Of course, you do need Word (or other document software) to make this work. Since Word is not free software, it is not always preinstalled on new computers.

Following is a transcript

of a person with a document to open and a tech support person. In this case, it appears that the caller is pranking the tech support guy. In the end, tech support guy may have the last laugh. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I need help opening a document.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Ok.  Click on the Word icon on your desktop.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I don’t have a Word icon on my desktop.

Unhelpful tech support guy: No Word icon?  What do you have on your desktop?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: A coffee cup, a newspaper, and a bag of potato chips.

Unhelpful tech support guy: No, no, on your computer desktop.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: A computer?  You have to have a computer?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Say, aren’t you the CIO?

Vista Upgrade Problems

Are you suffering from Vista upgrade problems? Listen and learn as our Tech Woes IT masters engineer the cure for Vista upgrade problems.

Vista Upgrade Problems

can be caused by a variety of things. For example, you may not have enoughVista upgrade problems disk space or internal memory (RAM). Also, you could have incompatible hardware. In addition, you could have programs that will not work with Vista. In my opinion, the biggest cause of Vista upgrade problems is a successful installation! By all means read Top 10 Things People Hate About Vista. Also, check out Why people hate Vista.

Following is a transcript

of a person with Vista upgrade problems and a devilishly unhelpful tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I just upgraded to Vista, and I get the Blue Screen of Death every time I plug in my wireless card.  Can you help?

Unhelpful tech support guy: What version are you running?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Vista Business.

Unhelpful tech support guy: You need to upgrade to Vista Ultimate.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Will that solve the problem?

Unhelpful tech support guy: It sure will.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much.  You make it so easy.

Unhelpful tech support guy: That’s what we’re here for.  [Aside] At least it will solve my problem, since I don’t take calls for Vista Ultimate.  I love my job!

Backup Your Computer

Do you want to backup your computer, but don’t know how?  Listen and learn from Tech Woes IT pros, as they explain how to backup your computer.

Backup Your Computer

if you do not want to lose your valuable information. Backup your computerTo be sure, there are several ways to do this. For instance, you could copy your documents, music, and photos to a thumb drive or external hard drive. Also, you could use backup software to backup your important files or the entire computer to a backup drive. Frequently, people prefer the simplicity of backing up to the cloud. Because I like to easily recover from a crash, I backup my entire computer to an external drive. On the other hand, if you don’t have anything to lose and don’t need easy recovery, you don’t need to backup your computer. Granted, there are not many people who do not need some kind of backup.

Following is a transcript

of a person who wants to backup his computer and a mischievous tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I need help backing up my computer.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Ok.  I’ll walk you through the steps.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Super.

Unhelpful tech support guy: First, pull your computer away from the wall.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Ok. Done.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Now push it back up to the wall.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Ok. Done.

Unhelpful tech support guy: That’s it.  You just backed up your computer.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: That was easy.  Thanks for your help.

Unhelpful tech support guy: My pleasure. [Aside] I can’t believe another one fell for that stunt.

Tech Support Slacking

Why is tech support slacking? Do you ever wonder why tech support  takes so long to respond?  Find out: is tech support slacking?

Is tech support slacking?

Perhaps, they really are just slacking. Maybe they really are busy. Clearly, it depends who you ask. Certainly, many Tech Support Slackingpeople think that tech support has no other customers or priorities. So, if they can’t fix my problem right away, they must be busy playing Madden. Yes, I get your frustration. Yet, I have experienced excellent customer service. Of course, that is the exception to the rule. To be sure, customer service is a function of corporate culture. In short, good leaders hire good employees who provide good service.

Following is a transcript

of a person who has a misbehaving computer and an audaciously unhelpful tech support person. Unfortunately, tech support guy is only interested in getting back to playing Counterstrike.  As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below. If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support. How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: My computer is acting up, and I can’t get my work done.

Unhelpful tech support guy: And?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: I have an important deadline to meet and need your help with my computer.

Unhelpful tech support guy: We’re really busy right now, playing Counterstrike, so you’ll just have to wait until we’re tired of playing. [Aside] Did I just say that out loud?

Noisy Computer

 Do you have a noisy computer?  Listen and learn, while the Tech Woes IT pros show how to fix your noisy computer.

A noisy computer

is always quite distracting. In fact, if it is loud enough, it is downright annoying. Frequently, a noisy fan blade iNoisy computers the problem. Of course, a failing disk drive also makes a lot of noise. Also, a loose case screw can really make a racket. In addition, a noisy power supply could be the source. In that case, you may want to replace it with a quieter power supply. Sometimes, you can just move the computer to a place where the sound won’t bother you.

Following is a transcript

of a person with a noisy computer and a hilariously unhelpful tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support. How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: My computer is making a loud noise.

Unhelpful tech support guy: What sort of loud noise?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Like a fan blade scraping something.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Ok. I can fix that for you. I’m going to send you a special set of earmuffs.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Will that fix the problem with the loud noise?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Yes. It will also keep your phone from ringing all the time.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you so much. You have been very helpful.

Unhelpful tech support guy: That’s what we’re here for. [Aside] This is like shooting fish in a barrel.

 

Flashing Icon

Do you see an annoying flashing icon on your computer screen? Listen and learn as our Tech Woes IT pros get rid of the flashing icon.

A flashing icon

usually is just a program that wants your attention. For example, you could be installing a program, and need to give it permission to continue. Flashing iconFrequently, the offending program is hiding behind an open window on your screen. In fact, if you simply click on the flashing icon, the program should come out in the open. Other times, the flashing icon is a reminder of an upcoming appointment. Likewise, just click on the icon, to see what it wants. So, as you see, getting rid of this annoyance is usually not difficult.

Following is a transcript

of a person with a flashing icon and a goof-ball tech support person. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: There is a flashing icon in the lower right corner of my computer screen.

Unhelpful tech support guy: How long has it been there?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: For a couple of days.  It’s really driving me crazy.

Unhelpful tech support guy: This is a common problem.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Can you help me fix it?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Yes.  Put a small piece of duct tape in the lower right corner of your computer screen.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Will that fix the problem?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Of course.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you. You don’t know how upset I’ve been over this.

Unhelpful tech support guy: I’m always glad to help.  [Aside] I can’t believe I get paid for doing this.

Windows Illegal Operation

We have all seen the Windows illegal operation message. Listen and learn as the Tech Woes IT super gurus fix the annoying Windows illegal operation problem.

Windows illegal operation message

is one that everyone sees, from time to time. Hopefully, it will give the source of the Windows illegal operation. For example, it could say that Firefox caused an error. Windows illegal operationPerhaps, the message states that the video driver misbehaved.  It’s also possible that a corrupt file caused the error. First of all, you should reinstall or update the offending program or driver. If that doesn’t fix it, you may want to check for a virus or corrupt hard drive. Lastly, Windows itself could be corrupted, in which case you may need to reinstall Windows.

Following is a transcript

of a person with a Windows illegal operation message and a ding-dong of an unhelpful tech support person. In this case, the caller calls him out for his stupid answer. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely by chance. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: My computer screen has a message on it.

Unhelpful tech support guy: What sort of message?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: It says I have committed an illegal operation.

Unhelpful tech support guy: You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions.  Anything you do say can and will be used against you in a court of law.  You have the right to an attorney.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: But I was just trying to use my computer.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Are you waiving your right to an attorney?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Let me talk to your supervisor.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Supervisor?  I’m technical support.  I don’t answer to anybody. [Aside] The nerve of these people.

 

Constantly Rebooting Computer

Do you have a constantly rebooting computer? Listen and learn as the Tech Woes IT gods magically fix a constantly rebooting computer.

A constantly rebooting computer

indicates that it is very unhappy about something. Constantly rebooting computerFirst of all, check to see if the power switch is stuck. Next, unplug all of your peripherals, and see if it will boot properly. If not, try to boot into safe mode. Hopefully, you can get into safe mode, and see if system restore fixes the problem. Unfortunately, there are many things that could cause a constantly rebooting computer, including bad memory, hard drive or video card. Finally, I wish you luck.

Following is a transcript

of a person with a constantly rebooting computer and a terribly unhelpful tech support person. Of course, tech support guy just wants to get rid of the customer and go home. As is my policy, I have changed the names to protect the guilty. Any resemblance to real life situations is purely coincidental. Or is it? Perhaps, it is a little bit of both. I hope you enjoy my goofy attempt at geek humor.   I welcome you to express your opinions and share your frustrating experiences in the comments below.  If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share it with others. Thank you for stopping by.  Craig Herberg

Unhelpful tech support guy: Technical support.  How may we humiliate you?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: My computer constantly reboots.  Can you help me?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Sure.  Press the power button on the front of your computer.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Ok.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Now hold it in for ten seconds.  Did the computer shut down?

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Yes, it did.

Unhelpful tech support guy: Good.  Wait five minutes before turning it back on.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Will that fix the problem?

Unhelpful tech support guy: Sure will.

Unsuspecting tech woes victim: Thank you for your help.

Unhelpful tech support guy: You’re welcome.  Have a great day.  [Aside] What a dummy.  My shift is over.  I’m out of here.